Even when you're just hanging out at the lake, there's no excuse for a lack of coolness.

I like to imagine that there's a whole story about this photo - how they were deeply in love but it couldn't last because he was rebel, baby, and nobody could tie him down. He carefully combed his hair, then climbed on his motorcycle and roared off into the sunset, leaving her with a giant hickey and a cautionary tale to tell her daughters.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is a time of great joy, great mystery, and great parties...which can result in many derps.

L to R: A hobo, a pirate, oh dear god what is it supposed to be?!?!?

Happy Halloween, everybody! Don't let the ghosties get ya!

There's something about a hat

I've always thought that it's a pity we don't wear hats anymore. For those of us who grew up watching old '40's movies on our tiny black and white televisions, nothing says cool like a stylish chapeau. I spent countless hours trying on my grandmother's old hats, none of which looked a tenth of millionth as cool on me.

Catching Up

Sometimes, people just have that kind of face. Or, people just have the kind of relatives that lie in wait for decades to take derpy photos of their relatives.

Everyone is convinced that their little darling is the best at everything. The cutest, the smartest, the coolest, the sweetest - you name it, it's human nature to boast about it until your friends, neighbors and co-workers are sick of hearing about it. You might agree with your neighbor to be polite, but in your heart of hearts you always know that your child beats the pants off theirs at being awesome.

But in the backwoods of Tennessee, in a small town with no name, everybody agreed that little Hattie was the very best...at belching. Here she is airing her God-given talent at an early age. By the time she was in school, she could belch out the National Anthem. It brought a tear to every eye.

Clara always had problems getting everybody together for a family portrait. She tried nagging, she tried bribes, but nothing worked. So she turned to drugging their oatmeal. Sure, the timing has to be perfect - just the moment before they wake fully and scatter to the winds - and their faces look a little like deer in car headlights, but they're all together as a family, and that's what counts.

Sundays Are Cool

In all fairness to my family and ancient family friends, there are some good-looking people hiding amongst the derps. So Sundays shall be our cool palate cleanser.

Let us begin with a trip South of the Border. Well, south of the Mason-Dixon line, anyway. I'm pretty sure that the closest these folks got to Mexico was Western night at the local drive-in.

Fabulous sweater, beautiful skirt, perfectly coiffed hair, and red, red lips...sombrero notwithstanding, this is seriously cool. I'm not sure what happened between then and now, but modern fashion clearly got the short end of the stick.